Cigarettes & Saints

Twice a week
I pass by the church that held your funeral
And the pastor's words
Come pouring down like rain

How he called you a sinner
But said now you walk with Jesus
So the drugs that took your life
Aren't gonna 'cause you any pain

I don't think he even knew your name
And I refuse to kneel or pray
I won't remember you that way
But I lit you a candle
In every cathedral across Europe
And I hope you know you're still my patron saint

Well I tried to forgive
But I can't forget the cigar in his fist
I know that they were heartsick
But I need someone to blame

And I know how they blame me
I know what you'd say
You'd tell me it was your fault
I should put all my arrows away

I'm sure there ain't a heaven
But that don't mean I don't like to picture you there
I bet you're bumming cigarettes off saints
And I'm sure you're still singing
But I'll bet that you're still just a bit out of key
With that crooked smile pushing words across your teeth

'Cause you were heat lightning
Yeah, you were a storm that never rolled in
You were the Northern Lights in a southern town
A caustic fleeting thing
I'll bury your memories in the garden
I'll watch them grow with the flowers in the spring
I'll keep you with me

These wolves in their suits and ties
Saying, "Kid, you can trust me"
Charming southern drawl, sunken eyes
Buying good will in hotel lobbies
They got fistfuls of pills
To make sure you don't hurt no more

You don't gotta feel anything
Got their fangs in our veins
Got their voice in our heads
Got our arms in their grips
No, we can't shake free

This goddamn machine, hungry and heartless
My whole generation got lost in the margin
We put our faith in you
You turned a profit
Now we're drowning here under your waves

(There's no failures when we can't see the problems)
Drowning held under your waves
(There's no failures when we can't see the problems)
Drowning here, drowning here

You can't have my friends
You can't have my brothers
You can't have my friends
You can't have my brothers
You can't have my friends
You can't have my brothers
You can't have me
No, you can't have me