Manners On the Manor

We get a wide variety of all comers on this patch
Variety's the spice of life, but sometime's there's a catch
I come here for the culture, The Cosmopolis is good
But even I get terrified... by a nipper in a hood

We've always had an open heart

'cause every walk of life is a work of art

I get my pine nuts from Camisa
Dumplings from Mr Jerk
Bar Italia for the coffee
You wanna see how those boys work
But when we all get to the weekend
You see the townies on the pull
They don't have much respect. Is it the Vodka or Red Bull?

Yes, some of them go to far you know
The trouble that we get here, it ain't ever been home grown

Yes we want you to feel at home now
So mind your manners on the manor and you'll know how
You know we want you to fit right in here
So mind your manners on the manor if you don't live here
Because we want you to feel cosy
So mind your manners on the manor and don't be nosy

Well I learnt my trade on the Totty Court Road
Not quite bustin' rhymes, more a kind of ode
To a community of diversity
Which is why they always sell hello to me

I earned my stripes busking on a bench
Now I'm welcome everywhere I go from AA...
...to The French

But you've got to keep your eye out
For that certain clientele
The kind that throw up on your doorstep

Then ruffle your lapel

We've all learnt to accept the trials of National Debt
But there ain't no excuse for lack of etiquette

Yes we want you to feel at home now
So mind your manners on the manor and you'll know how
You know we want you to fit right in here
So mind your manners on the manor if you don't live here

What would Charles the second say if he were alive today?
His statue in the Square looks grim
With pigeon droppings on his chin
Would he pray for us in old St Paul's?
Or would he grab us by the balls?
Charlie wouldn't be impressed
But Nellie Gwynne would keep him fresh

Yes we want you to feel at home now
So mind your manners on the manor and you'll know how
You know we want you to fit right in here
So mind your manners on the manor if you don't live here
Because we want you to feel cosy
So mind your manners on the manor and don't be nosy
So mind your manners on the manor and don't be nosy
So mind your manners on the manor and don't be nosy
So mind your manners on the manor and don't be nosy