On the Road Again (Take 1, Complete)

Okay
Wait a minute Bob, let me introduce it
What's the name of it?
Bob
Hey, Bob
Ah, the name of this one is, ah...
"On the road again"

Well, I wake up in the morning, there's frogs in my socks
Your mama, she's hidin' inside the icebox
Your daddy comes in, wearin' a Napoleon Bonaparte mask
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, do you have to ask?

Well, I go to pet your monkey and I get a face full of claws
I ask who's in the fireplace and you say, "Santa Claus"
The room is so cold, I got to wear my hat
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe you ask me that?

Well, I go to get something to eat, I'm hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed and a hot dog
I got a hole where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don't live here
I gotta think you're really weird

Well, your grandpa's cane, it turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures that are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets your uncle steals
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe that you're for real

There's fist fights in the kitchen, they're enough to make me cry
Then the mailman comes in, even he's gotta take a side
Even the butler, he's got something to prove
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I got to ask you why don't you move?