On the Road Again (Take 4, Alternate Take)

Well, I wake up in the morning, there's frogs in my socks
Your mama, she's hidin' inside the icebox
Your daddy comes in, wearin' a Napoleon Bonaparte mask
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, do you have to ask?

Well, I go to pet your monkey, I get a face full of claws
I ask who's in the fireplace and you say, "Santa Claus"
The milkman comes in, wearing a derby hat
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that?

I ask for something to eat, I'm hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed and a hot dog
I got a hole where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I gotta think you're really weird

Well, your grandpa's cane, it turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures that are pasted on a board
Everything in my pockets your uncle steals
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe that you're for real

Well, there's fist fights in the kitchen, they're enough to make me cry
Then the milkman comes in, even he's gotta take a side
Then the butler, he's got something to prove
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe why don't you just move?