An Actuary Retires

Nobody came to my retirement party
Nobody cares when you're on your way out
Inconsequential and oh, so replaceable
All along I thought I would've left with more than nothing to show

I once was hailed as the prince of invention
I once was cast as a modern Galois
Nobody came to my retirement party
All along I thought I would've left with more than nothing to show

I place my things in a cardboard box
Swiftly struck by a swiveling shard of the past
Schoolyard voices swirling around
The other kids: aspiring firemen and ballerinas
Me: walls plastered with equations
Out to prove or disprove the magnetic monopole
Swim far from thought's shallows
Hold experiments, teach classes
Then someone said
"There's no money in that!
Quick wit to pick apart fiction from fact
You've got brains, kid, go make some cash!"
With neon dollar-sign eyeballs
Hollowed-out heart, I'm placing bets on life or death
Listless drips seep through the teeming weeks
And I lose respect for myself

Hope is the last of the spirit to falter
Hope is a weight that drags from within
And if I'd known in the end it was worth it
I would've followed that hope to begin