Arthur in the Afternoon

*Everyone's noticed the change in me
The heartening startling change in me
No longer depressed, i'm looking my best
And I'm totally in control.

Though grim and obsessively sad was I
And never organically glad was I
Now life is the berries and cherries invaded my bowl!

Harvey and the children are relieved
My girlfriends say I'm not to be believed
And the secrent isn't not diet drugs or pills
I've simply found a new routine to banish
All my ills...

I have my coffee in the morning
My brandy in the evening
And Arthur in the afternoon
Don't have any grey days
Since i've my matinee days
With Arthur in the afternoon

He has a small apartment in the center of town
I'd hardly say it was posh
But I gun my Hundai and I hurry on down
To hear the banidster squeak and the waterbed slosh

Oh you can keep your crystal
To heat up someone's pistol
Cause this kid's ids in tune
Because she's got Arthur
That's right I said Arthur
There's nothing like Arthur in the afternoon!

I've read Shirley McLaine dear
But found all that a pain dear
I've rather have Arthur in the afternoon

They say that love is better with the stars in the sky
But not for Arthur and me
We start loving when the sun is high
From a quarter to two to a quarter to three

So don't sit there and glower
Just pick another hour
For your round trip to the moon
You've got to try Arthur
He's listed as Arthur
I recommend Arthur in the afternoon!

Hello Arthur
I've got a little headache
All my nerves are worn a little thin
I was wondering if you had an opening
And if you did, well, could you squeeze me in?
You do!
A quarter to two!
Well i'm all ready to go to town
I'm gonna rev my motor and get on down!

So get your shopping cart out
And go Safeway your heart out
But there's no sun sweet prune
As healthy as Arthur
Oh, that animal Arthur!
I've been bitten by Arthur in the Afternoon!