A Little Priest

That's all very well
But what are we gonna do about him?
Later on when it's dark
We'll take it to some secret place and bury him
Oh yeah, of course we could do that
Don't suppose he's got any relatives
Gonna come poking around looking for him

Seems a downright shame (shame?)
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has, had? Has
Nor he can't be traced

Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift, as a gift
If you get my drift
Seems an awful waste

I mean, with the price of meat, what it is
When you get it, if you get it (ah!)
Good, you got it

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
Now, a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion aminently practical (well, it does seem a waste)
And yet appropriate as always
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you all these years, I'll never know (think about it)
How delectable (lots of other gentlemen'll soon)
Also undetectable (be comin' for a shave, won't they?)
How choice, how rare (think of all them pies)

For what's the sound of the world out there?
What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd, what is that sound?
Those crunching noises pervading the air
Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around
It's man devouring man, my dear
Then who are we to deny it in here?

These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett
Desperate measures are called for
Here we are, hot out of the oven
What is that?

It's priest, have a little priest (is it really good?)
Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

Awful lot of fat (only where it sat)
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
No, you see, the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest

Lawyer's rather nice (if it's for a price)
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice (anything that's lean?)
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy royal marine

Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been (is that squire on the fire?)
Mercy no, sir, look closer, you'll notice it's grocer (looks thicker, more like vicar)
No, it has to be grocer, it's green

The history of the world, my love
Save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favors
Is those below serving those up above?
Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors
How gratifying for once to know
That those above will serve those down below

What is that?
It's fop, finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily it's served with a doily, have one
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run

Try the friar, fried, it's drier
No, the clergy is really too coarse and too mealy
Then actor, it's compacter
Ah, but always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu

Have charity towards the world, my pet
Yes, yes, I know, my love
We'll take the customers that we can get
High-born and low, my love
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone (we'll serve anyone)
And to anyone at all!