Captain Hook's Waltz

At last, I've reached me peak
Peter killed and all the boys about to walk the plank
Ha, ha, ha, I'm the greatest villain of all time
Who is Blue Beard?
(No one!)
Who is Nero?
(Nobody!)
Who is Jack the Ripper?
(Nobody!)

Who's the swiniest swine in the world?
(Captain Hook, Captain Hook)
Who's the dirtiest dog in this wonderful world?
(Captain Hook, Captain Hook)
Captain of villainy, murder and loot
Eager to kill any who says that his hook isn't cute
(It's cute!)

Who's the slimiest rat in the pack?
(Captain Hook, Captain Hook)
Who's unloveable?
(You!)
Who's unliveable?
(You!)
Who's existence is quite unforgiveable?
(You!)
Who would stoop to the cheapest and lowest of tricks in the book?
(Tricks in the book!)
Blimy, slimy Captain Hook

All mortals envy me, yet better perhaps for Hook to have had less ambition
Oh fame, fame thou glittering ball
In searching for thee, what fame have I not lost?
Though little children love me, I'm told they play at Peter Pan
And the strongest always chooses to be Peter
They forced the baby to be Hook
The baby
That's where the canker gadows
No!
Thy carbonite of soda, no!
Who's the swineist?
(Swineist!)
Who's the doggiest?
(Doggiest!)
Who's the slimiest?
(Slimiest!)

Who's the creepiest creep in the world?
(Captain Hook, Captain Hook)
Who's despencable?
(You!)
Reprehenceable?
(You!)
Who's behavior is quite indefencible?
(You!)
Who's the crawlingest, cruelist, crumiest, crookedous crook?
(Crookedous crook!)
(What a prize, what a joy)
Mrs. Hook's little baby boy
(The skunk of the sea)
Just little old me
(Captain)
Hook!
(Hook, hook)
Hook!
(Hook, hook)
Hook!

(Yo-ho!)