Dentist!

When I was younger, just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun

I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
That's when my momma said

(What did she say?)
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"

You'll be a dentist
(Be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing things pain
(Pain)
Son, be a dentist
(Son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist you'll be a success

Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque!
Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade?

Oh, that hurts, wait, I'm not numb

Ehh, shut up, open wide, here I come

I am your dentist
(Goodness Gracious)
And I enjoy the career that I picked
(Love it)
I am your dentist
(Fitting braces)
And I get off on the pain I inflict
(You really love it)

When I start extracting those molars
(Ooh, don't try it)
You girls will be screaming like holy rollers
(Dentist)
And though it may cause my patients distress
(Distress)

Somewhere in heaven above me
I know that my momma's proud of me
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success

Say aah
(Ahh)
Say aah
(Ahh)
Say ahh
(Ahh)
Now spit