Act One: Shoppin' For Clothes

I was shoppin' for a suit the other day
And walked into the department store
Stepped into the elevator and told the girl
"Dry goods floor"

When I got off a salesman come to me, he said
Now, what can I do for you
I said, Go on in, show me all them sports clothes
Like you're supposed to

He said
Sure, come on in buddy
Dig these fabrics we got laid out here on the shelf
Pick yourself out one, try it on
Stand in the mirror and dig yourself

Ooh
That suit is pure herringbone
That's a suit I'd like to own
Buddy, that suit is you
Yeah, I believe it too

I see for the businessman you're featuring the natural shoulder
That retails wholesale indeed
It's got the custom cuffs and the walking short
I'm gonna let you have at a steal

And for the playboy you have the latest in tweed
With the cut-away flap over twice
It's a box-back, two button western model
He said, Now ain't that nice

Ooh, them buttons are solid gold
Ooh, you made a deal, sold

Now you go back there and get those papers
Let me sign on the dotted line
And I'll make sure I have all my payments in right on time

Buddy, I just did a little bit of checking on you
And I'm sorry to say but your credit didn't go through
What you mean?

Ain't this a shame
My heart's in pain
Pure, pure herringbone
That's a suit you'll never own
Oh me, oh my
Oh me, oh my