Raindrops

Tear drops in the pillow on my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling

I said they keep on falling
And they keep on falling
I said they keep on falling
Slaughterhouse, yo

I'm the product of when a nigga mama gives up
Crying, laying in the trash with the lid shut
Ain't got no family, my mind is tender
My daddy's invisible, my Mom's is Brenda, uh.

If I survive I'm grow into what
Society considers trash, the rope is to us
That mean I'm hanging myself by living
The noose is getting murdered, that or going to prison

My mind's controlled before I learned mind control
What you call living life, I call dying slow
I'm genetically predisposed
The reaper the only thing that can ease my soul, freezing cold

Feeling like I was given life
And if I take it, at least I choose
I'll probably be in heaven when the pain stops
'Til then all I'm hearing is wind and rain drops

Tear drops in the pillow on my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling

I said they keep on falling
And they keep on falling, falling
'Cause this is my pain

Dear Auntie, I still feel your timeless sorrow
Before you died, it's like your body was mine to borrow
Like I jumped in your physical shell while you was
Going through miserable hell saying goodbye to tomorrow

Everyday it makes me sad, angry, mad
How you were sent to heaven's sacred path
Duct taped and gagged, plus raped and stabbed
Body draped in blood, what a fate to have

Such a pitiful end, I'm popping Ritalin like they Skittles
'Cause when I sleep, I can feel it again and again and again
And it's difficult, killing is the wickedest Biblical sin
I'm talking about Mama's identical twin

I see your face when I look at her
Her reminder of how I've been in the cold since 14 years old
I swear to God, I'll probably be in heaven when the pain stops
'Til then all I'm hearing is wind and raindrops
Rest in peace, Chacha

Tear drops in the pillow on my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling
Yeah, they keep on falling
Yeah, they keep on falling, falling, falling, yeah

Nah, I ain't move bricks on the Peter Pan
No father around to teach me how to be a man
We was too high, didn't know where we would land
Scraping coke on the weed til' niggas didn't see a plant

Alcoholic's child raise off of sugar water
Headed to you and just thought about how good he was brought up
Coulda, woulda, outta one track mind
They say man of many hats buys a hooker for a quarter

And now I'm writing a book and the hood's the author
Called the 'Obvious Poker Face, The Look of Torture'
Teach you how to climb your way out that ditch then
Me all I need is this pen and thick skin

Being so bright could mean you lit then
'Cause you start trying to figure out a figment
I'll probably be in heaven when the pain stops
'Til then all I hear is wind and rain drops

Tear drops in the pillow on my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling, falling, falling, falling

Check it out, I'm still waiting on my dad to get back
He went to the store in '84 and I ain't seen him after that
Another single mom public assisted the rent wasn't consistent
So they had us back and forth in court in the months of the blizzard

My sneakers leaned, the rubber was missing
No one on ones, they always jumped me
No brothers and sisters to hold me down
Along with headphones plugged into a cheap Walkman that ate tapes

Gun shots and me sleep walking, I hate weights
A whole lot of crying, police chalking that fake tape
Ambulance never on time, they like a day late
My cousin had to vacate, my best friend since age eight

Sometimes I can't hold them I kid you not
Eyes get swollen holding on that tissue box, somebody get a mop
I'll probably be in heaven when the pain stops
'Til then all I'm hearing is wind and raindrops

Tear drops in the pillow on my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling

Yeah, they keep on falling, they keep on falling
Falling, yeah, they keep on falling
And they keep on, and the raindrops keep on falling
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah