Be-Bop Santa Claus

Twas the blight before Christmas and all through the dawn
The scene was quiet except pop and mom
There they sat, hung, in their big easy chair
Goofed on eggnog, sherry, and beer

Sis and li'l Junior lie there in the bed
While visions of Cadillacs jumped in their heads
Moms jumped up and said "Pops, let's quit it to bed
We can't let Santa dig us with our eyes all red."

Then out on the stoop, ooh-wee! such a clatter
Pops split to the porthole to see what was the matter
His heart did the jumps and he fell straight back
When his glimmers fell on a red Cadillac

Stashed in front was a cat, cool as any
With a red beaver hat and a red cashmere Benny
His ground pads was suede shoes
And his red tweed vine cost heavy dues

He wore a red-on-red shirt and a white mink tie
Some crazy-rimmed glasses that covered one eye
Old Pop's peepers grew large, round and white
As he dug this crazy vista on Christmas Eve night

The Cat leaped from his short and laid down his sack
He began wailing like mad the cool "Applejack"
Then up to the rooftops the Cadillac flew
And the Cat In Red followed on through

Pops was wigged behind this crazy scene and before he was straight
Down came the Cat right through the chimney grate
A bag of jive he had on his back
As he stood digging Pops, who was blowing his stack

His eyeballs were hid by some coal-black shades
When Pops dug this action, he knew this Cat was made
A king-sized cigarette hung from his chops
As he eased up close and sounded on Pops

"I'm the Be-Bop Santa from the cool North Pole
And I've been down since the days of old
I'm known all over from here to eternity
And a stud's mighty square if he don't dig me!
So cast thy peepers into my righteous bag and see
What insane object I shall lay on thee

Here's a record by Diz, cut when he was two
A real boss arrangement of 'Ool-Ya-Koo.'
For Moms, a mink outfit; Chanel No.5
And for you, little kiddies, my new book on jive"

"So that's it, Pops!", Santa did shout
Then he buttoned his cashmere and quickly cut out
Poor Pops was wiggin' and he was out of his head
To dig this wild character who wore all red

He ran to the table to cop him a drink
To quiet his nerves and to help him to think
Just then, from below, he heard a voice shout
"Have a crazy, cool Christmas but don't get knocked out!"