Space Olympics

Help me!

Reach for the stars
Woah, yeah

You stand on a distant planet
Skyline of red plateaus
Strange air and vegetation
You're a winner
Welcome to the Space Olympics
The year 3022
Take part in a grand tradition
Your name echoes in the holes of the universe

Oh, yeah, yeah
Believe in yourself
Take your game into outer space

Every single galactic athlete
Needs a coded ID badge
Drug tests are mandatory
You're a winner
The Athlete's Village is on Zargon
You all get a junior suite
We don't cover incidentals
So keep your ass out the minibar

You're the best in the world
Brace yourself 'cause there's no gravity
You're in the motherfuckin' Space Olympics, yeah

Let it be known by every nation
You'll only get one meal a day
There was a bit of a budget snafu
And food funding is insufficient
We can't really enforce a curfew
As there is no light or sound
Just one of the many problems
With hosting a sporting event in space

Attention all athletes
There are minor scheduling adjustments

Space Disc is totally canceled
Space Swords is totally canceled
Space Luge is also canceled
And all other events are pending

Welcome to your Space Olympics
All the oxygen has run out
And someone who will not be named
Accidentally hit self-destruct
As you file to your escape pods
I'll distract the alien hordes (you're in the motherfuckin' space olympics)
And as I stare death in the face
I know my sins will take me to hell

You do it for the love, my love
And there ain't no woman that could take your spot my love