Dream Life of Rand McNally

(Lemme tell you somethin')
Who is he, Mr. Rand McNally?
Who is he?
Well I had a dream that mystery was me, now
Who else could I be?

'Cause I dreamed I went to England
And met the Spice Girls there for tea
They lost one more
They're down from four
To my favorite number, three
But they're still quite spicy as the orange flavor
And oh so nice to do me the favor
And lick my icing under the table now

But I gotta leave town, Mr. Nally
Just as Scary Spice was about to go down on me
But don't ask how, Mr. Nally
And give up the towel, Mr. Nally
And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I dreamed I went to Singapore
Got bored and robbed a liquor store
What for?
Nobody knows
I only took a couple of Marlboros
Oh, but that was all they needed
And the criminal was soon defeated
And now in jail I'm waiting
For my punishment of caning

But I gotta think fast, Mr. Nally
Watch your ass, oh
Say, wake up and laugh, Mr. Nally
And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Better Mister run, a-better
Mister Rand, a-better
Mister Mac, Mr. Nally
Mister run, a-better
Mister Rand and run and run away, okay
Better Mister run, a-better
Mister Rand, a-better
Mister Mac, Mr. Nally
And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Had a chance to visit the North Pole
But it was way too cold to smoke
Oh, my nose was freezing
I sure could use some
Coughing and wheezing
So, I tried it anyway
And the place went up in flames
How was I supposed to know
You could catch fire to the snow

Oh lord, way to go, Mr. Nally
Way to go, oh
Now you're melting the poles, Mr. Nally
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I jumped ship in NYC then
I headed south to Washington, D.C.
Didn't think I'd go there
But played some shows there
Fancy, lucky me
And it is really slow there
With our new president on TV
Too many politicians
And liberal Christians
They're all set out for me

Oh, my, cast your vote, Mr. Nally
Castrate your vote, oh
Say, no you don't, Mr. Nally
And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I thumbed a ride across the prairie
I got hitched in Vegas, yep, I got married
To a lady who loved me
She thought it'd be funny
To gamble all my money
And I got stranded without my clothes
A little bit of "Fear and Loathing" heart attack
I got chased by the Rat Pack once in a flashback

Singing viva Las Vegas
Singing viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas, oh my
I said viva Las Vegas

A-better mister run
A-better mister Rand
A-better mister run, said-a, said-a
Mister, you're the man
A-better mister run
A-better mister man
A-better mister run

I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, a-mister man
I said I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, a-mister man
I said a mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister man
A-better mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister
Mister mister, a mister mister
Said-a mister, mister, mister man

And a-rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run run run run
And a-rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, a-done run, run, run a-do-run run run
Mm ba-da, ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba
I want you to take a little something for me, T.T.
I want you to oh, oh, oh, sweet, sweet, sweet, boy
A little solo for me
(No, for you, I'm saying! But do it for me, thank you)

(That's not a solo! Come on, gimme somethin', uh)

(Come on)

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run on down the road
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

'Cause I, I saw fireworks from the freeway
And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
'Cause you were born on the fourth of July, freedom ring
Well something on the surface, well it
Well something on the surface
Well it kind of makes me nervous
To say that you deserve this
And what kind of god would serve this
You will serve this dirty old disease
I said you gots the poison
I gots the remedy

I said, I said remedy
I got, I gots the poison, poison
(I got the remedy)
I gots the poison
(I got the remedy)
Whose is this got the poison
(I got the remedy)

Said-a poison, poison, poison
Groovin' and shell-o
Look for a mellow fellow like da bro, gettin' paid
Lay, so better lay low
Schemin' on hot while they end the co show
Said-a local ho she be kinda like an afro
So what you sayin', hon?
She's a winner to you
But I know she's a loser
How d'you know?
Me and the crew used to do her

I got the poison (remedy, remedy)
I got the poison (remedy, remedy, remedy)
I got the poison, poison (remedy)
P-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison, poison
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison, poison
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison, poison
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison

A-better mister run
A-better Mister Rand
A-better Mister Mac, Mr. Nally
Mister run
A-better Mister Rand
I said you got the knack for the rally
And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I settled down in San Diego
And smoked a joint with Java Joe
And with a grin
He took me in
(I spilled coffee on my chin)
And I played my show there
I met my bitches and hos there
And with my holy ho they kindly let me shake my tail there

But one more thing before we go
There's never been any place quite like this home
For once in a lifetime, maybe
I'd be foolish not to stay

Oh, I gotta get away, Mr. Nally
Running the play, oh
Say, what can I say, Mr. Nally
And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away
Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Say, say, ah, oh
Say, c'est, c'est la, la la la la vie
Say, c'est, c'est la, la la la la la la vie
C'est la vie