Open Doors

Scared to check so I press ignore
Life is best when you're less informed
But life's a mess when you're pressing forward
Sorry sis for that call I missed
If I pick up now then I'm stressing more
I don't know why I'm this way
I don't know why I'm afraid
I know if my mother was here
She'll tell me "Let go of your fears, quit all you're crying and pray"
Telling you why I'm ashamed
Why I denied what I've gained
Why I'm not eager to talk
Cuz my father's old and he works too much and I feel at fault
And I'm still chasing my dreams
And he sacrificed for my goals
And his only joy is through me
So his time to chill is on hold
And that's more pressure on me
But I made the choices myself
And it's time for me to grow up
But there's no one left that can help
Just me

I can't get enough, All I wanna to do is give you more
But did I mess up?
While chasing these open doors
Till they close
I don't know, I don't how long
I hope you see it, before you're gone

Trapped in a maze that I made myself
Hardest song ever but it may not help
Spoke my mind, just the way I felt
Never dawned on me any shamed I dealt
I was just trying to get free
I was just trying to convey what was wrong
Never considered how people would look at my family or judge my father and mom
What am I wrong? Should I be calm? Should I be quiet and silence my plead?
Should I pretend like I wasn't infected, infected with such an abusive disease?
Wasn't neglect, Wasn't disgust
You can do everything right as you must
You can be over protected as parents and still see your child a victim of lust
I am the proof, this shits the truth
You can accept it and just be aloof
Simply come blinded and often reminded
You cannot control what's out of your view
This is the few
And it's still enough to do damage
Looking back what I was looking at
And those Obstacles but I'll manage

I can't get enough
All I wanna to do is give you more
But did I mess up?
While chasing these open doors
Till they close
I don't know, I don't how long
I hope you see it, before you're gone

Before you're gone, I hope you see it
Before you're gone, I mean it
Before you're gone, one step closer
Before you're gone, the dream
Before you're gone, to give you everything
Before you're gone, after all you've given me
Before you're gone, one step closer

I can't get enough
All I wanna to do is give you more
But did I mess up?
While chasing these open doors
Till they close
I don't know, I don't how long
I hope you see it