Tombstone Blues - Alternate Take

The sweet pretty things are in bed now, of course
The city fathers, they're trying to endorse
The reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse
But the town has no need to be nervous

The ghost of Belle Starr, she hands down her wits
To Jezebel the nun, she violently knits
A bald wig for Jack the Ripper, who sits
At the head of the Chamber of Commerce

Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues

The hysterical bride in the penny arcade
Screaming, she moans, "I've just been made"
Sends out for the doctor who pulls down the shade
And says, "My advice is to not let the boys in"

And the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside
He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
"Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride
You will not die, it's not poison"

Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues

"Ah, John the Blacksmith, he torturing a thief"
Says the hero, the Commander-in-Chief
"Tell me, great hero, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"

The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly
Saying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry"
And dropping a barbell, he points to the sky
Saying, "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken"

Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for the food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues