Today I Cried

So sick and tired of this Bullshit, man
Even people around me are telling me
I'm wasting my time with this shit but I know different
I swear all I need is that one chance
And I'll be back on my feet again

No more me and my Sick of trying to balance the music
While I'm balancing the fuzz
I know if I get this music to Everything, everything and anyhow

I only went and fucking did it
Used to be a dream but now I fucking live it
Wasn't even writing raps
I was down and out, about to fucking quit it
Lucky for me that I fucking didn't

See Lily came along when I was at my lowest
Selling wraps of coke, not the raps I flow with
I made it and I owe it to a chat I had with her
Who knows where I'd be if that chat hadn't occurred
Back with the bag with the bag full of herbs, innit?

Instead I got her on a track and I murdered it
My name started causing murmurs in the industry
But none of these labels would work with it until Virgin did
Put my first single out and we earned a hit
That's why we never I know it must burn a bit
Just did a show and everybody knew the words to it

The day I risked everything for
I couldn't have given anything more all these years
They weight heavy but this is something
That nothing could have readied me for
What, you think all my problems are remedied 'cause I get an applause?
They're not

Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried then I don't know why
Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried and I don't know why

My single went in at three, my album went in at two
For a debut not too shabby if I have to I make do
Finally some form of reward for the things I came through
But it's different to the perfect picture people paint you

On the way up you might be a person people take to
Then you break through and the same people who rated you hate you
All of a sudden anything you may do may make news
And I'm sick to death of explaining what is and ain't trues

Spend a day in my shoes and maybe you would feel the same too
Though I know I've got to make the most of it there'll be no take two
And ungrateful, I would hate to seem 'cause I'm leaving my dream now
But I don't sleep now and all these hours awake are making me senile

Snap every time I see now even people I've been 'round
My whole life are looking at me like I'm a new me now
They say I've changed but I just don't see how
I've always lived my life taking corners that I can't see round
Never knowing what it is I'm trying to seek out
But I'm even beginning to question me now

Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried then I don't know why
Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried and I don't know why

I know it must seem mad to you, it's mad to me
All I've done is what I've had to do, been who I've had to be
But the path I've walked has been so gravely
It's been a strain to remain humane amongst all this inhumanity

Thankfully I had none who was a mum and a dad to me
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family
Temporary happiness for me has been a fallacy
He's so sad, isn't? Stick your sympathy, it means jack to me

Sick of hearing how happy I should be, I just don't know how to be
I can no longer pretend, no more making out to be
Maybe all I need's a slap, someone to shake it out of me
Help me to spell my irrational thoughts and think more rationally

Sick of being in the state of vanity, it's agony
Am I torn or is it all some twisted form of vanity?
Can it be I'm really just obsessed with myself?
Obsessive compulsive, depressed, my pressures reflecting my health
Taking care of my career but I'm neglecting myself
Rejected therapy, no, I just won't except any help
I pride myself on my honesty but in all honesty today I lied
I was asked how I was and I said I was fine, I'm not
Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried then I don't know why
Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried and I don't know why
Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried then I don't know why
Today I cried and I don't know why
But today I cried and I don't know why