I'm Bad

(Calling all cars, calling all cars)
(Be on the lookout for a tall, light-skinned brother with dimples)
(Wearing a black Kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers)
(Last seen on Farmers Boulevard headed east)
(Alias LL Cool J, he's bad)
Aaaahhhhhhhhhh

No rapper can rap quite like I can
I'll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand
Not the last Mafioso, I'm a MC cop
Make you say, "Go LL and do the wop"

If you think you can out write me, yeah boy, I bet
'Cause I ain't met a motherfucker who can do that yet
Trendsetter, I'm better, my rhymes are good
I got a gold nameplate that says, " I wish you would"

And when battle begins, then I gotta join in and
Before my rhyme is over, you know I'ma win
Cool J has arrived, so you better make way
Ask anybody in the crowd, they say the kid don't play!

Slaughter competition, that's my hobby and job
I don't wear a disguise, because I don't owe the mob
Got a pinpoint rap, that makes you feel trapped
So many girls on my jock, I think my phone is tapped

I'm bad
(Cool J)
(Cool J, yeah)
(Cool J)
(C-C-C-C-Cool J-J)
(Cool J)
(C-C-C-C-C-C-Cool J-J-J-J-J)

I'm like Tyson, icin' I'm a soldier at war
I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more
Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and
Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere

MC's can't win, I make 'em rust like tin
They call me Jaws, my hat is like a shark's fin
Because I'm bad as can be, got my voice on wax
Some brothers think he's making records
Now he must have relaxed

I couldn't, shouldn't, and it'll stay that way
The best rapper you've heard, is LL Cool J
Kamikaze, take a look at what I've done
Used to rock in my basement, now I'm number one

And can happen on time, never standin' on line
You wanna try me? First, you better learn how to rhyme
I'm the pinnacle, that means I reign supreme
And I'm notorious, I'll crush you like a jelly bean

I'm bad
(Suspect was last spotted with three other members of his crew)
(Bobcat, E Love, and Cut Creator)
(They are extremely bad, so keep your eyes open)
(Use extreme caution)

I eliminate punks, cut 'em up in chunks
You were souped, you heard me, and your ego shrunk
I'm devastating, I'm so good it's a shame
'Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal, they call me insane

I'm as strong as a bull, of course you know I have pull
I enjoy what I'm doing, plus I'm paid in full
Not Buckaroo Bonsai, but busted out as I
Say the kinda rhymes that make MC's wish that I'd die

Never retire, or put my mic on the shelf
The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself
Not bitter or mad, just provin' I'm bad
You want a hit? Give me a hour, plus a pen and a pad

MC's retreat, 'cause they know I can beat 'em
And eat 'em in a battle, and the ref won't cheat 'em
I'm the best, takin' out all rookies
So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies

I'm bad
(Cool J)
(Cool J)
(Cool J)
(Cool J-J-J)
(Cool J-J-J)
(C-Cool)

Never ever, no never
Never wearin' no Levi's, battle me, why try
I'll treat you like a stepchild, so tell mommy bye-bye
Sparrin' MC's, and I'ma never get whipped
When I retire, I'll get worshipped like a old battleship

LL, I'm bad, other rappers know
When I enter the set, they say, "Yo, yo. There he go!"
My paycheck's large, Mr. Bogart in charge
Not a puncher or a hunter from a racoon lodge

The original Todd, teachin' how to be hard
Take the skin off a snake, and split a pea from a pod
You're a novice, I'm noble, and I dissect with my tongue
Not Atilla the Hun, but no, I'm Threwler his son

My vocal's exact, like rack and pinion in a Jag
You try to brag, you get your rhymes from a grab-bag
No good scavenger, catfish, vulture
My tongue's a chisel in this competition sculpture

I'm bad
(Think I'm gonna need backup)
(Think I'm gonna need backup)
(What you need that for?)
(Yo, this is LL Cool J)
(And you'll never catch me, so don't even try it)
(I'm too bad for ya, understand?)
Aaaaaahhhh
I'm bad