The Two Gay Irishmen

Where seamen push up stools
They were giggling like the Coleens
And playing pocket pool
They washed their balls in stout that night
And bid their last good-byes
"We're off to kiss the Blarney Stone,
So zipper up your flys!"

CHORUS
Well fudge your undies laddies
You're on you're way to Blarney
With Gerald Fitzpatrick
And Patrick Fitzgerald
The two gay Irishmen!

"Well grab your bags!" cried Pat Magroin
It's time to pick your seat.
While Paddy O'Furniture grabbed the wheel
Dick Burns turned up the heat
They fiddled and diddled all full of malarky
Their trousers felt a lump
So the Bulgers grabbed their Johnsons
And gave them all a pump

CHORUS
Well fudge your undies laddies
You're on you're way to Blarney
With Gerald Fitzpatrick
And Patrick Fitzgerald
The two gay Irishmen!

(Instrumental break)

Well Peter Hickey, Rick O'Shea
Neal Downe and Phillip McCann
Dick Long pulled out his shillelagh
And with it lead the band
Phil McCracken started snackin'
On leprechaun-on-the cob
The bus began to rumble
And heads began to bob.

(Instrumental break)

And so they kissed the Blarney Stone
And grabbed the gift of gab
Connie Lingus snapped their portrait
In front of that mossy slab
All they had on were the smiles on their faces
A grinnin' from ear to ear
From left to right
I'll call out their names
I'll tell you who was there...

Well fudge your undies laddies
You're on the way to Blarney
With...

Pat Magroin
Paddy O'Furniture
Dick Long
The Bulgers, the Johnsons
Peter Hickey
Rick O'Shea
Neal Downe
Phillip McCann
Dick Burns
Phil McCracken
Michael Fitzpeter
Peter Fitzmichael
Maurice Fitzhenry
Henry Fitzmaurice
And...
Gerald Fitzpatrick
And Patrick Fitzgerald
The two gay Irishmen!
The two gay Irishmen!
The two gay Irishmen!