My Own Hell

Nigga, my life is straight conflict
When all I want to do is kick it hard and make bomb shit
Every perimeter I enter is infested with a sinner
Seems like I'm losing and never coming out the winner
Shit, I'm the only one kicking it, everyone else plotting and scheming
But yet they never listen when I say I'm a little piece of love and a pit full of demons

Midwestside was record company comprised of all friends
Who grew up together and shared ends
Nobody stepped on nobody's toes
Diamond was executive producer, Juan had beats I had flows
Scooby and Txx Will did promotion
Got it where Mitch Bade was the shit and got Kansas City open
Juan got that shit to Quincy Jones through a chick named Mona
Three days later Q called us back and it was on
Q told us to wait on putting the record out indy
The record company will make it to where we'll have plenty
So we waited, should we put this out? We debated
But working with Quincy we were elated
So now we on the road to L.A. and it was live
'Til we got to Quincy's and Diamond told Scooby and them to sit outside
That's when the tension started to build
Niggas started feeling unappreciated and then shit got real!
'97 Quincy called back for me and Juan
I told my Rogue Dog niggas just to remain calm
I'm bout to make it so we can bling, get us nice things
And then Don Juan said, "let's mash for our dreams nigga"
Scooby didn't like the way he spent his money on promos
T-shirts and money to pay Brian for logos
He thought he wasn't appreciated, Midwestside depreciated
Gone for the summer and everybody waited
Bakarii didn't like the fact he was down with Mitch Bade
He felt that he should be the next nigga to get paid
Txx Will got tired of being lectured
On distribution so the anted up and started Hogstyle Records
My niggas wanted me to ride
Hell yeah I'm down, Tecca Nina's on both sides
Hogstyle's like "Fuck 'em, 'cause they didn't believe in 57
Midwestside's the same, but the love, I'm trynna find my way to heaven

Yo... This is my own hell nigga, this is my own hell
Just tryna make my records sell
Off in my own hell nigga, this is my own hell

We went to Cali to hook with QD3
They wanted the superstar to be me
Kicked it with big Q off in the wild wild west signed me to Qwest
Didn't know I was in for some more Perspective mess
Qwest fighting Midwestside over a single
All the way from the love angel to Kris Kringle
CEO of Midwestside fighting QD over my budget
QD fighting Qwest 'cause he never loved it
Warner Bros. fighting back and forth with my artists
'Cause the bitch who's handling money's retarded
Qwest don't like Midwestside, QD3 don't like Qwest
And I'm sitting in the middle depressed
Warner Bros send me four Gs a month
I'm kickin' it at parties, liquor, weed, and cunts
When everybody's fussing and fighting
I'm suffering peacefully like Novocaine
That's because I didn't know the game
Midwestside, Juan, and QD3
Q-W-E-S-T fighting all over me
Sway and Tech tripping with Q over a check he didn't pay
But I suffer (Man I suffer)
Nigga I suffer at the end of the day

Yo... This is my own hell nigga, this is my own hell
Just trynna make my records sell
Off in my own hell nigga, this is my own hell

Female friends started not to like my woman
When they found out my marriage was comin'
My wife didn't like my friends from the get go
She say them bitches ain't nothing but fucking famous rapper niggas for the grip hoes
Wifey don't like me hanging out with E and Beans
'Cause when we be seeing E and Beans wifey be seeing things
Beans don't like Sheryl 'cause Sheryl fine as hell
And Beans thinks Sheryl will take the dick to show and tell
Sheryl don't like Beans 'cause Beans rude
She wish Beans would go back to Chicago with her dude
Sayin' he don't like Dr. Wick
But Dr. Wick don't give a shit, Zany got Nicky waiting for the hit
Wifey study entire 'cause something seems fishy
'Cause all my relations iffy iffy
Wifey thinks Big Sonya would try to fuck
Big Sonya knew if she try wifey was down to buck
Now all these niggas in my rhyme are my people
No one can save them not even a steeple could make 'em equal
You're all my sisters, my brothers
But I'm tired of mediating, I'ma sit and watch y'all kill each motherfucking other

Yo... This is my own hell nigga this is my own hell
Just trynna make my records sell
Off in my own hell nigga, this is my own hell
This is my own hell nigga this is my own hell
Just trynna make my records sell
Off in my own hell nigga, this is my own hell