Bad Day - Album Version (Edited)

And it just keeps going and it just keeps

So I'm in the airport getting ready to leave
Heading to a friends wedding in the NYC
But my head has been spinning I'm forgetting to eat
All this jet setting has really been getting to me

It's already 11: 20 and I'm ready to sleep
But instead I end up sitting in the 27th seat an isle seat
Fine by me but the guy that's insides always trying to pee
With a wild child behind that's crying
And keeps flipping out and kicking at me
While it violently screams

So I silently plead "Oh God
Please let there be a hunny sitting 27B"
But of course a morbidly obese beast
Is in the seat that weeses when it breathes

Dude sitting D is at least three deep
And he keeps telling me what is wrong with his knees
Osgood schlatters
Just need water but for a bottle they charge two dollars
And when I thought that it couldn't be worse, I forgot my iPod

I'm having a bad day
Nothing ever seems to go my way
Everybody needs to go away
Why because I'm having a bad day

And it just keeps going and it just keeps
And it just keeps going and it just keeps

So four hours of turbulence
We land when I'm about to turd my pants
But the captain is seat belt fastened
So my ass is just passin' gas and at last I escape

When I'm minutes away from clinically insane
I make my way towards baggage claim
When I hear a high pitched voice scream my name
(Asher)
Some dumb bitch, I went to high school with

While she's sweating she's telling me she likes my shit
I just smile and think how great it would be
If I could just hit this chick with a quick leg sweep
(Leg sweep)

So I pick up my LL bean
And B line for the next taxi
In need of weed and boxer briefs
But my bags only got maxis

I'm having a bad day
Nothing ever seems to go my way
Everybody needs to go away
Why because I'm having a bad day

And it just keeps going and it just keeps
And it just keeps going and it just keeps

I check into my hotel room
And I pick up my cell phone to dial the groom
Tell him my mood and how I'm ordering food
And I'm probably gonna stay in and watch a movie

But the tube has no HBO so anything I want
Yo, I'm paying for but I'm lame and broke
So I'm laying in a robe
Watching that Little People Big World show

Right then there's a knock at the door
It's my last hope for a Spanish whore
Who will change my sheets in exchange for penis
"Hi, I've lost my cock, have you seen it?"

Jesus, this day is the worst
At least I can give me a little jerk
And then go to sleep healthy and diseaseless

I guess it could be worse
But I'm just having a bad day
Nothing ever seems to go my way
Everybody needs to go away
Why because I'm having a bad day

And it just keeps going and it just keeps
And it just keeps going and it just keeps