Slow Burn

It begins with a dark glowing ember
Something black burning its way out of me
Searing the flesh
Pain is the only thing I feel, scars all I see
Oh no the fires burning my insides again
What can I do to silence my desire tonight?
Flames consuming reason leaving only ashes left
You will catch me regretting my decision
I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear
I can't just close my eyes

I know that it's killing me
And it's poisoning the best in me
What I see, I don't want to believe
So let me tell you more, tell you more
About the lies I lead

That is how I chose to douse the flames in gasoline
Broken teeth replace blackout memories in my head
Wreckage from the past haunts me, shakes me to the bone
I know it's over but I can't go home tonight
But after this I feel as empty as the night before
Feel the pain and yet I'm still begging for more
Masochistic, nihilistic, urging backward thought
My life's a mess and I can't find a way to fix it
I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear
I can't just close my eyes (my eyes, my eyes, my fucking eyes)

I know that it's killing me
And it's poisoning the best in me
What I see, I don't want to believe
So let me tell you more, tell you more
About the lies I lead

Calling, calling out
The darkest reaches of my soul are riddled with self doubt
Crawling, crawling out
My will to fight will more than suffice when others would lay down
It's only as dark as you make it

I know that it's killing me
And it's poisoning the best in me
What I see, I don't want to believe
So let me tell you more, tell you more
About the lies I lead