My Old Man's a Dustman

Now here's a little story
To tell it is a must
About an unsung hero
That moves away a dust

Some people make a fortune
Others earn a mint
My old man dont earn much
Infact, hes flippin skint!

My old mans a dustman
He wears a dustmans hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
He looks a propa 'nana in his great big hobnail boots
He's got such a job to pull 'em up that he calls 'em daisy roots

Some folks give tips at Christmas
And some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up
He spills some on the step
Now one old man got nasty
And too the council wrote
Next time my old man went round there
He punched him up the throat!

My old mans a dustman
He wears a dustmans hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
I say I say I say less
Yeah?
I, er, I found a police dog in my dustbin
How'd you know he's a police dog?
He had a policeman with him

Though my old mans a dustman
He's got a heart of gold
He got married recently
Though hes 86 years old
We said here, hang on dad you're getting past your prime
He said when you get my age it helps to pass the time

My old mans a dustman
He wears a dustmans hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say I say I say
Eh?
My dusbins full of lilies
Well throw them away then
I cant, Lillie's wearing them

Now one day whilst in a hurry
He missed a ladies bin
He hadnt gone but a few yards when she chased after him
"What game do you think your playing?
She cried straight from the heart
You've missed me am I too late?
Nah jump up on the cart!

My old mans a dustman
He wears a dustmans hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say... I say... I say...
Not you again
My dustbin's absoloutely full of toadstools
How do you know its full?
Cause theres not mushroom inside!

He found a tigers head one day
Nailed to a piece of wood
The tiger looked quite miserable
But I suppose he should!
Just then from out the window
A voice began to wail... it said
'Oy, wheres me tigers 'ead?'
Four foot from its tail!

My old mans a dustman
He wears a dustmans hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
Next time you see a dustman
Looking all pale and sad
Dont kick him in the dustbin
It might be my old dad