Too Drunk To Fish

Now, me and Harold, this buddy of mine, decided that we'd go fishin' one time
So we drove to the lake with my brand new bass boat
I brought the fishin' poles, the pork and beans, the saltine crackers
And the canned sardines, and Harold brought all the booze one man could tote

While I loaded the boat and filled the tank (uuh-uh)
And tried to get that motor to crank
Harold just sat there, sippin' on a longneck beer (uuh-uh)
While I was steerin' the boat and tyin' the plugs
He was drinkin' moonshine straight from the jug
He was singing "Melancholy Baby" when we left the pier, ha-ha

Oh, never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin'
'Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish
Just leave that fool at home to drink (uuh-uh)
He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink
Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish

While I was concentratin', perfectin' my cast, hopin' to land a trophy bass
And Harold was havin' trouble tryin' to find the lake
Layin' there beside him at his feet was an anchor line coiled up real neat
Harold saw it, went white as a ghost and hollered "Snake!" (Aah-ah)

Well, he jumped straight up and began to yell
I said "Sit down Harold and behave yourself
Can't you see that ain't nothin' but a piece of rope?" Ha, ha
But he was scared to death, plumb out of his mind, tryin' not to get bit by that anchor line
And he grabbed my shotgun, blew a hole in the bottom of the boat
Harold!

Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin'
'Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish
Just leave that fool at home to drink (uuh-uh)
He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink
Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish

Now, too drunk to fish is too drunk to swim, so I was dog paddlin' and draggin' him
And finally made it to a little sand bar just big enough for two
And it was way after dark when that helicopter came
With that big searchlight and callin' our names
And Harold looked up to the sky and said, "Lord, is that you?"

(Ooh) and then he knelt there in that heavenly glow and said "Lord, you know I ain't ready to go so if you pass me by tonight, oh, I will reform"
And then they threw down a raft, and I paddled us home
And he never touched a drop from that moment on
You know the Lord works in mysterious ways his miracles to perform

Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin'
'Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish
Just leave that fool at home to drink (uuh-uh)
He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink
And don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish