Interlude 5 - Live

You all doin' alright? You ok?
I'm not screamin' at ya, I'm just askin' you a question
Y'all givin' me a clap
A yes is fine ok?
I love that song
Thank you praise God

I tell you, I know everybody's in the same mess, I'm telling you, we all are
I know that, you know, and I'm just, you know
I'll be the first to tell you, you know, I'm a mess and God is dealing with me everyday
And everyday I'm trying, you know, how I can be less of a mess
'Cause you know, he showed me

Look Lauryn, you know, You're the problem, ok
I'm going to show you how you're causing the problem
And now I want you to be the solution
And that's what all of these songs are about
Just, problem, cause and solution
Free your mind

It's like, we all think that the gospel is join and church building, and that's deception, you know
The real gospel is repent, which means 'let go of all that crap,' that's killin' ya
Life was supposed to be a pleasurable experience, not this torment, you know
And when I realized that I was tormenting myself, it was about my lust
It wasn't about things that I needed it was just, you know, all these security blankets
I mean, the more I acquired I became more of a prisoner

I mean, you know, forty people on staff, and you can't do nothing, and now creativity is impossible
Because all you can think about is all these folks that you know
You're supporting and carryin' and you know it's not good
You know, everybody a friend of mine says that every tub has to stand on it's own bottom, you know
And in that respect, we all get to do what our passion is
See that's what praisin' God is all about, is doing your passion

You know, it's not useless, worthless ritual, you know, monotonous ritual
Where we just show up and can't wait to see the game, you know
It's doing your passion and fulfilling your passion, you know
That's how we're thankful
That's how we say we appreciate the opportunity to be alive
And I'm just glad that I, you know, I don't have to slave anymore
You know, 'cause I, music was my love

And because of everything I thought had to accompany my music it became my burden
It just got stolen from me, I said, What is this?
How did this thing that I love so much so easily and so quickly turn to something I loath and hate?
And so now, you know, I understand that it was because I was measuring myself
Or trying to compare myself to a standard that wasn't reality
It wasn't the standard at all, you know
There's a scripture in the Bible that we, what does it say

It says 'We compare ourselves amongst ourselves' you know
That's not the standard, you already are the standard
What are you trying to fit into a standard for?
We were each created to be individual standards, you know
And we're tryna fit into a standard? It doesn't make any sense, you know
So now I'm just, you know, after all that, I'm just ready to be me
And it's a lot to work through, you know

Because all of us have hidden in these little boxes purposely
Because of parts of ourselves that we were unhappy about
And it's because we didn't understand, you know
Because there's all this social doctrine that says, you know
That the infinite God, with all this expression, who created every single one of us
Absolutely different, on purpose, wants everybody to fit into the same suit

But like, you know, that's deception, that's deception
Ok, let me just, I think this is the wrong one
I don't think this is the right one
We took, we were in, um, Florida this weekend
And we took the kids to Disneyworld, and um
You know we were going, they gave us a tour

So they escorted us through the back
And when they escorted us through the back
We got to see how, you know, there all these people workin' all hard
And it was like, real dirty back there, and of course, in the front it was all immaculately clean
And I said, I said, you know

People need to see the reality, they need to see
You know, how these people slave to maintain this illusion
And it felt like my life, I said, If people only knew what it was. It's like, you know
A bunch of musicians, listen, bustin' their 'mm' workin' all hard to make it look easy
What's the point? You know, Oh, uh, I just threw this together, uh
You know, it's like, you know what I'm sayin'? I mean, you know
Slaving, slaving to act like, you know, I wake up like this

And none of us do, you know, none of us do, none of us do
And reality is good 'cause that means everybody could just exhale
Let your belly out, you know, and chill, you know
But people get mad at me when I say, Look, let's stop frontin'
And I'm saying, you know, that's the blessing
Now we can go around and look at each other and say, Oh, you got one too?!

And be free
And we want to defend the curse, I'll tell ya, that was not fun
Did it for a long time, too long
You didn't find it? It's another white one
But you see in my purse or the, the other bag?
Or the green one? Ghetto, you know, it's reality, ok?
Are they ready? Oh let's see

One time, it came to me, you know, I was just told very concretely
You know, it was like that voice, the right one, said to me
He said, Lauryn, you know the real you is more interesting than the fake somebody else
I just want you to know that
Because we always thought we could get, you know
We could get reality by just putting on the clothes and wearin' the face and you know

Lookin' hard in the video, but, you know
Reality is it's like I've always told to my husband, it's like, look, you know
We look at Bob Marley, you know, and we say
Ok, let's just grow locks and wear the clothes and have the band
And we have no many idea how many years
Of struggle and pain and suffering that made that content
You see what I'm saying? You can't get it from the outside in
Truth is from the inside out, you know

And the way we've been trying to heal and be healed
Is with these topical, surface, superficial, temporary solution
And I'm telling you, true healing is from the inside out
You know, we've been told to protect our
Outer man while our inner man is dying
Oh, this is the one, ok

Boy I'll tell ya, God made him for me
I'm something to put up with
And to endure that is amazing
I'll be the first to tell you, trust me
Y'all could clap 'cause that's some real work
I was in there in the room, you know, before we came out here

And he said to me, I said, Ro should I change?
And he said, yeah
So I looked at him, I said
Why did you tell me to change I was comfortable, man
But I asked him the question
So I went in the room and I tried on all these clothes and I was like, I feel like an idiot
So I pulled out all these clothes and I'm sayin, ok Ro, you know

Pack the bag neatly, you know
Could you put the clothes back in?
And he's like, alright
So he's trying to do this but then I'm like
No! now take this out! now put that back and take that out!
Put that back, hold that, take, that, put
The orange shoe! the orange shoe! so I'm like

And then after awhile I just said, Ro baby, could you leave?
Please get out the room, and I just put back on the clothes I came in
Ok, I was like I'm just not there anymore
Nah, I'm telling you. It's like, uh
Hey you know he's learned
Because before we used to just beef and now he's like, Okay

I'm out, oh man it's real
God gave us a brand new relationship, man
I mean, one in truth, you know. It's like, we date people
Like let's say, you know, we're interested in somebody
And we put on the perfume and dress up
And then we do things that we will never ever ever do again!
You understand what I'm sayin'? It's like
And that's why so many marriages end up in divorce
It's because people wake up next to a stranger
They say, 'Who the hell are you?'
What are you doing in this bed?'

Where's that man that used to do 'du, dua, and du'
And I'm sayin' let's give them reality from the door because
You're gonna to attract love, and the one that really loves you
And then you don't have to pretend and falsify
And you know, keep that posture
You know, you know, I can't, I'm just like

I'll never forget when I first met him I said to him, it was like
He saw me eating in front of him, and he told me, he was like
You eat like a man, you must not like me
You know, because, women, usually they keep that posture
And I said, nah, I said it's not even that, you know
It's but, this is reality, this is, you know

And that's it, man, I mean, I'm just telling you
It's so wonderful to finally find
And trust me, it's a work in progress
It's not something that happens overnight
We all have to be introduced to each other
I'm telling you, I know that I'm up here and you see
Lauryn Hill, you came to see Lauryn Hill

But this is the first time y'all meet me
You see what I'm saying?
Don't think you met me before, ok
And as I grow, you're going to meet me a little bit more
You're gonna be exposed to the real me a little bit more
I can tell you I had to reintroduce myself to everybody I know

My mother my father, listen, y'all never knew me
I want to introduce you to me, I'm just getting to know me
And you know what, anything that's not growin is dead
So we better be changing
You know, people would say to me
They would hold me hostage
And they, seriously, emotionally hostage, and they'd say

Uh, she's changing
The money's changing her and I'd say listen
The money's not changing me, God's changing me
I'm changing, because that's a natural part of life
We're all supposed to change
Who wakes up and is the same way tomorrow and the day after that?
Nobody is, let the experience teach you and be real, man

And, um there's gonna be warfare involved
Because there's some people who prefer deceptions, see
They say, uh, I don't like this new expression, and I say
What, you want two-thirds of me to stay outside?
I'm a whole person
You can't say, you know, two-thirds of Lauryn, come in here
Only two-thirds is acceptable, I'm a whole person

You know, and that's everybody
You always talk about spiritual warfare and we did
Didn't realize that it was in relationships
It's emotional warfare, being able to tell the people
We love the most the truth about ourselves
And when they say

Hey that doesn't fit into our box for you
We say, Well, I ain't in no box
Don't try to put me in one
I'm going to play a little bit of guitar with this one, but I might
I might stop it's 'cause I really want you to listen to the words
So if I stop, you understand why, I want you to really hear the words