Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags)

Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out man, tell it
It was this blind man, right?
Man, check this out. It was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? Fish market
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said

Woo, good morning ladies
You like that shit, man? Pretty good
Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man
Are you asshol or motherfucker, man?
I tell you what. My man on the guitar, hey
We'll fool on the drums, yeah, right
Hey, everybody just crowd around the mic
I'll tell you all these motherfucking jokes
But first, I'mma start off like this
Hey, help me sing it, homeboy
Come on

Said Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coupe de Ville
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will
Well, it was just sundown in a small white town
They call it East Side Palm Dale
When the Afroman walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
When I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know

Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klub Klan
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo'
Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right
She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba
Got my ass lookin' like a zebra
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
So I ran, I jumped out the back window
But her daddy, he was waitin' with a two by four

Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right

The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad
That's the best damn pussy I ever had
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will
I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair

But damn she looked good
I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine
But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African

I fucked her once, I fucked her twice
I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big titties, too
So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo
See, I met this lady from Hawaii
Stuck it in her ass, and she said, "Aiiee!"
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch

Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky
She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me
I came in her mouth it was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out (sell tapes from here to Hong Kong)
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her titties were filled with Hennessey
That country music nearly drove me crazy
But I rode that ass and said, "Yes, Miss Daisy"
Met this lady in Oklahoma put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again
Met a real black girl in South Carolina

Fucked her 'til she turned into a white albino
Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia, came in her mouth
Man, I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful sexy ho
She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria
I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it
I know I'ma cry when she gets deported
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell
Flyin' through Palmdale
Skatin' on Dayton rims
Come on

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coupe de Ville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell
I bet my Caddy will