Embassy Lament

Oh my dear, how boring. He's defecting.
Just like all the others, he's expecting
us to be impressed with what he's done.
But he hasn't stopped to think about the paperwork his gesture causes.
We've an embasy to run.
And if these people can't strike blows for freedom
with a valid visa, we don't need 'um.
If we seam off-hand then
please remember this is nothing very special,
he's the fourth we've had since last November.
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?
And when he's safely in the West he'll be the subject to discuss.
The media will lionise him, fame and fortune, pluss.
No-one will recall it's thanks to us!
(spoken) You have a wife?
Yes.
You have two children?
Yes.
And they're not coming with you?
No, not for the moment.
You play chess, so you are good at it? Oh, I hear you're world champion.
Since yesterday.
That's still good.
(sung) Have you an appointment with the consul?
If you don't we we know what his respons'll be.
He will not see you with respect it buggers up his very taxing schedule
Pushing peace and understanding
Let us hope this won't affect it
Far too many jokers
Cross the border
Not a single document
In order
Russia must be empty
Though we're all for
Basic human rights it makes you wonder
What they built the Berlin wall for
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?
And when you've filled in all the forms
And been passed clear of all disease
Debriefed debugged dedrugged disarmed
And disinfected please
Don't forget the guys
Who cut your keys