Intrusive Thoughts

Solace in this solitude is what I had sought
Applauding God and his facade
There's comfort in this fraud
I'm just the son he'd gone and forgot

I gave up on myself, my health, and hope of any help
May Hell accept me as the spawn of what this world has dealt
My teeth are metaphors of everything that I deplore
Hollow, flawed, and falling from the awful height of twenty floors

As I descend, feel my knees bend
Indifferent, apathetic glances across the cement
When my face met at least it kissed the pavement
The ground gave me more sympathy and grief than what their stares meant

Harbored dark thoughts
Got the cops calling spots where my body might drop

Voices in my closet talk
Jaws click and gossip
Who the notches in my bedpost are

Hear them knock before I toss myself
All for naught
I mock and scoff
And hop onto the windowsill

A father and his daughter paused
To stop and watch
Then walk it off

Forgot my face
Confirmed my faith
The human race has lost its cause

Dancing with the devil by the moonlight
Head filled with some moonshine
Led and pirouetted out the room by my bruised thighs

Loose stride
Moving through the booze 'til the brew's dry
Used to abuse
So what's it to you, right?

Delusions of grandeur used to subdue doubt
Until it perfused through my body like gout
Then it consumed more than I had allowed
Exhuming the tombs of neurosis aground

Confusion and laughter from the ruthless crowd
Assuming the stupid kid would turn around
A nuisance, a loser, whose head's in the clouds
Too far removed from the earth to be found

And the crows gather round
So concerned now they stand on common ground

Murders perched and watched me rot
They brought with them intrusive thoughts