Thoughts

My mind is hella hectic, day and night
I drink my sorrows down, with lean and sprite
I'm a sex addict and I need it tight
But Mary Jane is the only women that treats me right
And I think I might be just like my dad
He loved my momma more than anything, that's what he said
But he had ho's for days, that gave him head up in my bed
And 'til this day he tell me that he don't have a single regret
What the fuck am I supposed to take away from that
You ruined our family and you wouldn't take it back
Yeah you raised me up, but my lil brother suffered
And then I raised him, while I supported my mother
Motherfucker, I had to get that off my chest
Even though you left us then, now I still love you to death
But that bitch you married now, is a crazy ho
And I hope she hears this song on the radio
As a younging I would hustle, just to make some doe
Yeah, I sold trees to fiends, when I ain't even smoke
But that's good, cause I was upping all my profits
No matter where I went, I had some green up in my pocket
But these are just my thoughts and I'm coming from the heart
I wondered as a child, why I stuck out
They playing in my hair, I told them to get the fuck out
So I cut it and my grandmomma cried
She ninety seven now, thank God she's still alive
But, let me rewind, there was a day she wouldn't claim me
How could she tell her friends, she had a black grandbaby
Raising a nigga kid is something they couldn't tolerate
And now I only see her in the summers and the holidays
My white cousins used to live across the street from me
My grandfolks would visit them and never take a peak at me
I just used to run outside, with hopes of them just seeing me
It broke my heart so easily, I shut them out immediately
But I forgive you for your ignorance
Now I'm all grown up and I be on some different shit
But just know if I blow, you won't get a single dollar
With millions sitting around, that's a hard pill to swallow
Tell my uncle that there's nothing he can barrow
I wouldn't give a fuck, if he passed away tomorrow
Sorry, but I don't even know the man
Hope he's a donor, recycle him like a soda can
Kinda ironic how all of you is some Kobe fans
But you scared of brown skin, prolly wouldn't hold my hand
I understand and I see now that you trying
But I can't shake emotions from inside me
My momma is an angel, I love her so
I can't imagine a day, when I'd have to let her go
When we was broke, she was working and going to school
We moved into the hood, the only thing that we could do
She's so perfect, only flaw is that she need a man
I tried to grow up fast, to be the best one that I can
But she hates being alone, but who could blame her
The only problem, she'd take anybody who would date her
They just played her, while I sat there and watched her ball
I told her everytime, she wouldn't listen at all
It ain't my fault, but she acted like it was
You dating an alcoholic, with a crazy ass son
On to the next one, this nigga was something stupid
We scrapped a couple times and then I finally lose it
This nigga set me up and now you asking me to prove it
I had my hand on the trigger, you lucky I didn't pull it
And I'll never let that shit go
And if I see him now then it's popping like Crisco
But that's off the subject, fuck that nigga let him die
After he left though, the look changed in your eyes
You hated me inside and I could tell
You would curse me out and I would yell
We'd exchange words, that I'll never tell
He thought the only option for me, was dead or in jail
Bitch nigga, how you like me now
I'm doing my thing, I hope you proud
Yeah, I know my momma is
She be at my shows, fifth row hollering
Buying shots, for my under aged friends
We getting fucked up, let's do it again
I love her and I'm glad we how we is
I respect her and appreciate everything that she did