Theoretical Dick Jokes/Statistics
I wanted to be a physicist when I was younger, and I also wanted to be a comedian, but only one of those worked out, so I'd like to try to do both now in a bit that I call theoretical dick jokes. It goes like this:
My penis is so small that I have trouble finding it 'cause it's so greatly influenced by mechanical fluctuations in the fabric of space/time
And when I'm having intercourse with a woman, she can only know where my penis is or how fast it's moving 'cause it's small enough and light enough to be fully governed by the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.
I've got an eating disorder--
Yeah, more like nutritional entropy, so...
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me...
Segues are weird.
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy?
Like 12? I've got a cousin who is 18... yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
I know what you guys are thinking: Oh Bo, you tackle such taboo subjects, you know, is there anything off limits? Anything you don't find funny? Anything you think is too sacred to laugh at?
And the truth is, there is...
White people.
I think we've been through enough...
My penis is so small that I have trouble finding it 'cause it's so greatly influenced by mechanical fluctuations in the fabric of space/time
And when I'm having intercourse with a woman, she can only know where my penis is or how fast it's moving 'cause it's small enough and light enough to be fully governed by the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.
I've got an eating disorder--
Yeah, more like nutritional entropy, so...
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me...
Segues are weird.
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy?
Like 12? I've got a cousin who is 18... yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
I know what you guys are thinking: Oh Bo, you tackle such taboo subjects, you know, is there anything off limits? Anything you don't find funny? Anything you think is too sacred to laugh at?
And the truth is, there is...
White people.
I think we've been through enough...
Credits
Writer(s): Bo Burnham
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
© 2024 All rights reserved. Rockol.com S.r.l. Website image policy
Rockol
- Rockol only uses images and photos made available for promotional purposes (“for press use”) by record companies, artist managements and p.r. agencies.
- Said images are used to exert a right to report and a finality of the criticism, in a degraded mode compliant to copyright laws, and exclusively inclosed in our own informative content.
- Only non-exclusive images addressed to newspaper use and, in general, copyright-free are accepted.
- Live photos are published when licensed by photographers whose copyright is quoted.
- Rockol is available to pay the right holder a fair fee should a published image’s author be unknown at the time of publishing.
Feedback
Please immediately report the presence of images possibly not compliant with the above cases so as to quickly verify an improper use: where confirmed, we would immediately proceed to their removal.