Even If It Kills Me

I've got a lot of things to do tonight
I'm so sick of making lists
Of things I'll never finish

I've lived here for the last twelve years
Since early 1995
All my shit has been in boxes

But if I had a little more time to kill
I'd settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you'd think that I would

But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight

For the first time in a long time
I can say that I want to try
To get better and overcome
Each moment in my own way

I wonder if I'll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kind of gave up

Winter is killer when the sun goes down
I'm really not as stubborn as I seem
Said the knuckle to the concrete

But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight

For the first time in a long time
I can say that I want to try
To get better and overcome
Each moment in my own way

I'm not saying that I'm giving up
I'm just trying not to think
As much as I used to

Cause never is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I'll get it right some day

For the first time in a long time
I can say that I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I'm learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I'll never get over it but I'm gonna try
To get better and overcome
Each moment in my own way

I sure want to get back on track
And I'll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me