Howdy Doody

:
Got a bottle full of mescal, couple of whores
A Colt .45 pistol tucked in my shorts
Drunk in the morn', I puked up my guts on the floor
Passed out, now I gotta go look for my horse
Yeah, I tied him up by the general store
Between the OK Corral and the federal court
I was in the Birdcage with a peach of a hand
Must of heard us all shootin', got spooked and he ran
Ike Clanton came walkin' in, clutchin' his flames
Got up in his face and told him that's just my game
Play for blood, capisce?
Yeah, I'm way too drunk so I carry two guns punk, one for each
Pull the smoke wagon out, wave it and blaze
Guess I gotta make a few folks famous today
Oh well, that's what it is when you live in this town
Whistle at me if you see my horse walkin' around
And say:
Hey, Howdy Doody what's new?
You might think I'm livin' life like a movie, it's true
You can find me in a wild west grimy saloon
Gettin' live, drinkin' moonshine out of a boot
Yeah, so take a couple back
Kick your spurs in the dirt
Make a move and we hit the first person that smirk
One for the road before we tear the place to bits
I'm markin' my spot cowboy, you're takin' a trip

:
He had a scar on his face and like to sip on the worm
And quit his job and his shirt filled with cigarette burns
What a jerk, he's a slob, lipstick and a perm
That's when heard "click click" and the chicken {eeerer!}
So I grab my slingshot and duck right under the table
He untucked and started sprayin' rounds like Halo
Said, "Move and I'll put your brain in your sleeve"
That's when I pulled out my lucky nickel and aimed for the knees
Huh
Hit the floor and painfully screamed
Bullets hit the ceiling, now the place is rainin' debris
He couldn't see so I kicked the gun right outta his hand
Local hero does it again, hooray for the team
Singin'

:
Hey, Howdy Doody what's new?
You might think I'm livin' life like a movie, it's true
You can find me in a wild west grimy saloon
Gettin' live, drinkin' moonshine out of a boot
Yeah, so take a couple back
Kick your spurs in the dirt
Make a move and we hit the first person that smirk
One for the road before we tear the place to bits
I'm markin' my spot cowboy, you're takin' a trip