Miss Fogarty's Christmas Cake

As I sat in my window last evening
The letter was brought round to me
A little gilt-edged invitation sayin'
Gilhooley come over to tea
Each Christmas, the Fogartys' sent it
So I went just for old friendships sake
And the first thing they gave me to tackle
Was a slice of Miss Fogarty's cake

And there were plums and prunes and cherries
There were citrons and raisins and cinnamon, too
There was nuts, and cloves and berries
And a crust that was nailed on with glue
There were caraway seeds in abundance
Such that work up a fine stomach ache
That could kill a man twice after eating a slice
Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake

Miss Mulligan wanted to try it
But really it wasn't no use
For we worked in it over an hour
But a piece of it wouldn't come loose
Till Kelly came in with a hatchet
And Murphy came in with a saw
But Miss Fogerty's cake had the power
For to paralyze any man's jaws

And there were plums and prunes and cherries
There were citrons and raisins and cinnamon, too
There was nuts, and cloves and berries
And a crust that was nailed on with glue
There were caraway seeds in abundance
Such that work up a fine stomach ache
That could kill a man twice after eating a slice
Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake

Miss Fogarty proud as a peacock
Kept smiling and talk'n away
Till she tripped over Flanagans brogans
And she spilt the patin in her tea
Aye Gilhooley she says you're not eat'n
Try a little bit more of me cake
Oh no Miss Fogarty says I
Any more and my stomach would break

And there were plums and prunes and cherries
There were citrons and raisins and cinnamon, too
There was nuts, and cloves and berries
And a crust that was nailed on with glue
There were caraway seeds in abundance
Such that work up a fine stomach ache
That could kill a man twice after eating a slice
Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake

Maloney was hit with the colic
O'Donald's a pain in his head
Mc'Naughton lay down on the sofa
And he swore that he wished he was dead
Miss Bailey went into hysterics
And there she did wriggle and shake
And all of us swore they were poisoned
From eating Miss Fogarty's cake

And there were plums and prunes and cherries
There were citrons and raisins and cinnamon, too
There was nuts, and cloves and berries
And a crust that was nailed on with glue
There were caraway seeds in abundance
Such that work up a fine stomach ache
That could kill a man twice after eating a slice
Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake

Yes it would kill a man twice after eating a slice
Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake