The Mistress

hello it's me the mistress
is there anybody home?
cuz the last place I should be is sittin' here alone
all I ask for is forgiveness
if you've got some give it here
you don't act much like you need it
you don't look much like you care

and will you need me in the summer?
will you need me in the spring?

I believe my life is ending I don't know where to begin
I've got a page in my back pocket of the seven deadly sins
and its dragging me around among the needles and the pins

and I dont need to take a breather
I'm on the outside looking out
yeah, I don't need to see your papers
cuz I know what you're about
you had me by the bible and you had me by the belt
and you had me from the instant my cold love began to melt
and then you praise me for my inspiration
asked me for an explanation
followed up with hesitation
fit my primal expectation
I don't care but I don't mind
you can call me any time
you can holler through the fortress
and kick me out of line
I don't expect it from the grief that gathers in my head
I like suspended disbelief
I like to spend the day in bed
I like to spend the nights in heaven
hanging with the dead
you know, Judas and his women and the voices in my head
I've got my eyes upon the mirror
I've got my hands up in the air
I confess to my distress yeah, I great crazier each year
you know I'd change it if I could you know I like to say that I would
but there's a war between the parts of me
the evil and the good
and you try and stop me i'm on fire
it doesn't look that way
you know, I used to be a liar
but living's set me straight
I don't come with no disclaimer I'm like everybody else
we keep our demons on the burner and our morals on the shelf
and nobody asks for my opinion because you dont want to hear
I swear I'm only human wishing I could disappear
and you must think its an illusion that I like to live in fear
of a probable solution of why the devil put me here
and now no judgement call will kill me
just makes me close my eyes
and I sink into the slumber to the prison of my mind
where I'd love to introduce you
if you found a way inside
you could sell me retribution and totally demystify
until i wonder how I got here
until I don't know who to be
is it better to be grounded?
is it better to be free?
am I better off without you?
am I happier alone?
hello, its me the mistress, could you please pick up the phone?