Bored of Education

Dear Bored of Education,
So are we, huh, so are we
At no point in the lives that we actually live,
Do we sit in rows and listen to pontifications
At no point did momma pass written exams out on how to wash the dishes, no
She pulled the stool up next to her, at the sink,
Handed us a dishrag, like 'Watch how mommy does it, now you try!'
Learning by doing, such a crazy idea, it might work
Them stools felt like a magical ladders into an alter universe
Into the grown-up world,
Informational portholes, wormholes, into other places
Where kids were equals,
Being made privy to information only those with
Driver's licenses and facial hair had
Who knew we were learning,
No clue Pops was teaching us time management and budgeting,
Miniature project coordinators
He said, "Imma show you how to do these chores.
And if they're done when I get home
Then that allowance is yours.
Maybe some ice cream's involved too.
Remember when we were in kindergarten,
And you had to learn about worms,
Yeah, you went outside and you played with worms,
What a novel idea!
Dear Bored of Education!
Huh, so are we (so are we)

Dear Bored of Education,
All I've learned from your system is that it's just the system
That you set up
And if I just repeat what you just said,
in James Schafer method, then I passed, right?
You're just testing my ability to regurgitate
And if your best instructors are miserable,
I'm pretty sure it's not the kids' fault
This pain I know firsthand,
The grand learning moments, the innovative lesson plans
That causes eyes to sparkle
As if them students have just caught rides on shooting stars
These lessons have wings, only to get clipped, to fit,
Into the Low-Res JPEG you call "The State Standards."
Why do you insist this is still the industrial age?
My child is not a widget!
And a school should not be an assembly line
Making my daughter's diploma equivalent to an inspected by 2235 stamp
Dear Bored of Education, so are we!

Dear Bored of Education,
There's not a Scranton on the planet that can measure inspiration
This is what our teachers pass on that matters
But you'd rather them do a jig to the tune of an AYP score
As to avoid losing ..., right?
Nickel bee got us shocking and jiving,
But you can't measure a kid inviting their teacher to a Quincenera or a soccer game,
Or waiting rooms at free clinics.
I can name ten kids off hand who would still be in handcuffs if it wasn't for Mr. Singer
Nick Luvanno runs his own design firm
And he failed the exit exams twice! Failed!
Dear Board of Education, I mean, can we not Google when the Magna Carta was signed?
If your brightest stars are always dim,
Something must be wrong with your glasses
If every place on your body that you touch hurts,
Then your fingers must be broken
You are PhDs, you have five suffixes at the end of your names,
you're the people that know
A lot, how come you're not smart enough
To know that you don't know what you don't know?
Did anyone ever suggest, that maybe, we should test the test?
Dear Bored of Education, my dear Bored of Education, so are we
So are we, so are we!