Breaking Down

She said I wonder when it'll be my day
'Cause I'm not too far from breakin' down
All I've got are screams inside but somehow they
Come out in a smile and I'm wonderin' if I'll always feel this way
This way

The cross is heavy what a burden, am I crazy, Tyler Durdin
Don't get better seem to worsen, I don't even know this person
In the mirror I hate my sight, two more oxys sleep tonight
From fun to havoc, gotta have it alcoholic and an addict
This is tragic need some magic I'm insane my thoughts are static
Full throttle hit the bottle, pride and ego date a model
Drunk as hell stagger wobble, eat them pills, gobble gobble
Shake all mornin' panic attack will I find my way back
Needle in a haystack, someone pass the J back
Numb the pain, all the time can't believe I wrote this rhyme
It's my secret this is mine, I'm sick of jail an' doin' time
On my knees God take my life insanity cuts me like a knife
Ain't got the strength to even fight to take the pain not tonight
I keep a smile inside I crumble every way I turn I stumble
I need you but I hate you I need some kind of breakthrough
I sit in tears can't take it now I live in Hell I'm breakin' down

She said I wonder when it'll be my day
'Cause I'm not too far from breakin' down
All I've got are screams inside but somehow they
Come out in a smile and I'm wonderin' if I'll always feel this way
This way

Wakin' up blood is itchin', scared to death who is snitchin'
Feel like hell look at my health sad when you can't trust yourself
Pushed my dad stole from mom entire life made of drama
All my friends weathered down when I need help their not around
Trapped in a mazeI give up run in place my feet are stuck
Things I've done I'm so embarrassed,
oawned the things that I most cherish
Search all day for what I need, demeanor's mean my eyes are green
I trade my soul for one more bean, friends are dyin' am I the sequel
After pills then comes the needle, so much stress I ain't workin'
Always shakin' bodies hurtin', can't forget got to muention
Extreme anger some depression, delirium tremors I can die
Look to the sky wonder why hallucinate with open eyes
30 pack every night I give up I quit the fight
Hit my knees saw a light, pray to God with all my might
Before my daughter and Mini Thin I heard a voice say Jason listen
I love you son and you are missed my name is Jesus, remember this

And maybe you've fallen down
And maybe you just took the long way home
But baby you could never love you
Like me
And one day this will fade away in
the mirror you'll see your smiling face
And standing next to you will always be me
Yeah me

If Mini can do this, so can you
First 2 verse 2002
God loves everyone that he meets
Help me put these poems in beats
It ain't been easy but I can breathe
Now I work wit' those in need
Making progress prayers on knees
In the back of my mind hear that disease

Tell me about those nights, you stayed awake
Tell me about those days you hated me
Tell me how you'd rather die alone, than bein' stuck here with me
One day you're going to see things my way
You gave me so much room, that I can't break

Tell me about those nights, you stayed awake
Tell me about those days you hated me
Tell me how you'd rather die alone, than bein' stuck here with me
One day you're going to see things my way
You gave me so much room, that I can't break