The Bed Song

Exhibit A
We are friends in a sleeping bag
Splitting the heat we have one filthy pillow to share
And your lips are in my hair
Someone upstairs has a rap that we laughed at
And people are drinking and singing Van Halen and Slayer
On a ukele dare

Exhibit B: Well we found an apartment
It's not much to look at
A futon on a floor
Torn off desktop for a door
All the decor's made of milk crates and duct tape
And if we have sex they can hear us through the floor
But we don't do that anymore

And I lay there wondering what is the matter
Is this a matter of worse or of better
You took the blanket so I took the bed sheet
And I would have held if you'd only let me

Exhibit C: Look how quaint and how quiet and private
Our pay checks have bought us a condo in town
It's the nicest flat around
You picked a mattress and had it delivered
And I walked upstairs and the sight of it made my heart pound
And I wrapped my arms around me

And I lay there wondering what is the matter
Is this a matter of worse or of better
You walked right past me and straightened the covers
But I would still love you if you wanted a lover

And you said: "All the money in the world
Won't buy a bed so big and wide
To guarantee that you won't accidentally touch me in the night"

Exhibit D: Now we are both mostly paralyzed
Don't know how long we've been lying here in fear
Too afraid to even feel
I find my glasses and you turn the light out
Roll off on your side like you've rolled away for years
Holding back those king-sized tears

And I still don't ask you what is the matter
Is this a matter of worse or of better
You take the heart failure, I'll take the cancer
I've long since stopped wondering why you don't answer

Exhibit E: You can certainly see
How fulfilling a life from the cost and size of stone
Of our final resting home
We got some nice ones right under a cherry tree
You and me lying the only way we know
Side by side and still and cold

And I finally ask you what was the matter
Was it a matter of worse or of better
You stretch your arms out and finally face me
You say
I would have told you if you'd only asked me
If you'd only asked me
If you'd only asked me