Medicine

i just need a heavy dose of melatonin
or we could pop a couple bottles, just something that's potent
i pay attention to the noise, i could barely afford it
and now whenever that i write you know that it's important
'cause i rarely talk about what's in my notebook
you only know a piece of me, that's like a song with no people only feel me on that surface level
and that's fine, i get it, but don't act like you own a rental
back in '98 i found my voice
and God gave me a gift and i use it without a choice
and i love this shit, excuse me for being frank
but it's true i'm trying to make it, i'm just giving back my thanks
and it's a way for me to minimize the static
when my life is getting busy and getting harder to manage
so pick a vinyl from my mind and put the needle on
and if you like it then just keep along
this is my medicine

this music thang is my medicine
i need a dose of my medicine
when i'm down

so let me go and take you back
to the time when i wasn't 'bout shit
and i was carrying garbage bags of my outfits
17 and i was kicked out of the house with
a couple dollars and my pride, that's what counted
and my bed was nothing more than a couch
just wanted to get bitches and bring 'em back to the house
that wasn't even mine, with some friends that never judged
and i was looking for signs of people that i could trust
i was down and i was looking for clarity
i was lucky i survived, i had friends who took care of me
i swear, i was on the brink of insanity
but my brothers took me in and put a battery pack in me
i got better over time but every now and then
a part of me wants to do it all over again
but i would never hurt the ones i love on purpose
'cause i would be the one that's hurtin
they're my medicine

the ones i love are my medicine
i need a dose of my medicine
when i'm down

momma always told me
that i could be a star if i wanted to be one
my mind was always thinking big 'cause she gave me the freedom
gave me the drive and i just needed to put the key in
i didn't want to talk about it, i wanted to be it
there were times when i thought she had given up on me
but that's the way i grew because she gave the toughest love to me
and i was just too young to understand it
and everything she provided, i took it all for granted
i thought i had it on my own but i was being naive
when i was losing control, she helped me back on my feet
when my future wasn't clear, she gave me glasses to see
i wonder where i would be
without the strength of my mom
she's the compass when i lose direction
i see the hope she gave me when i look at my reflection
i just want to let you know i'm better now
and i just want to make you proud
dearest momma, you're my medicine

dearest momma, you're my medicine
i need a dose of my medicine
when i'm down