Piano Lesson / If You Don't Mind Me Saying So

Mama, a man with a suitcase followed me home

Oh?

I never saw him before

Did he say anythin'?

He tried

Did you say anythin'?

Of course not, Mama!
Now don't dawdle, Amaryllis
So do la ray ti mi
A little slower and please
Keep the fingers curved as nice and as high as you possibly can
Don't get faster, dear

If you don't mind my sayin' so
It wouldn't have hurt you
To find out what the gentleman wanted

I know what the gentleman wanted

What, dear?

You'll find it in Balzac

Excuse me fer livin' but I never read it

Neither has anyone else in this town

There you go again with the same old comment
About the low mentality of River City people
And takin' it all to much to heart

Now, Mama
As long as the Madison Public Library was entrusted
To me for the purpose of improving River City's cultural level
I can't help my concern that the Ladies of River City
Keep ignoring all my council and advice

But, darlin', when a woman has a husband
And you've got none
Why should she take advice from you?
Even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare
And all them other highfalutin' Greeks

Momma, if you don't mind my sayin' so
You have a bad habit of changin' every subject

Well, I haven't changed the subject!
I was talking about that stranger

What stranger?

With the suitcase who may be your very last chance

Mama!
Do you think that I'd allow a common masher
Now, really Mama!
I have my standards where men are concerned
And I have no intention

I know all about your standards
And if you don't mind my sayin' so
There's not a man alive
Who could hope to measure up to that blend'a
Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat and Noah Webster
You've got concocted for yourself outta your Irish imagination
Your Iowa stubbornness, and your liberry fulla' books!