Hippies In Calgary - 2000 Version

Well a few years back me
And ol' John worked the Calgary rodeo
We were hangin' around town
With nothing to do, nowhere else to go

Cowboys are known for their fun loving ways
Pranks, and practical jokes
And I'll never forget the night we impressed
A bunch of them Calgary folks

Well just down the hall in the ol' hotel
Where me and old John stayed
Were some school marms
They'd come up from Dallas to party for a couple of days

Now these old gals was fancy dressers
They had wigs and beads and all
So we put on the hair, took off our boots
And boogied on down the hall

Well, you could never tell we were cowboys
We were real lookin' hippies by heck
With long hair, bare feet, old t-shirts
And beads around our necks

And shoot we just had to show someone
So we boogied on down to the lounge
There was cowboys, and gents in nice old suits
And ladies in long evening gowns

Well we found us a table, pulled out a chair
And lit up some Bull Durham smokes
The smoke filled the air everyone there
Thought these hippies were smokin' dope

Now Leonard and Cravy and old Ronnie Rosland
Were sitting two tables away
So we did what we thought hippies would do
When we noticed them lookin' our way

Well we waved our long hair, rolled back our eyes
And sucked in them home made smokes
Sayin' stuff like, "Cool" and, "Yeah man, wow"
We put on one heck of a show

Now Ronnie and Lenard, they'd been there a while
And they wasn't feelin' much pain
I reckon they figured they'd have some fun
With these two hippie freaks that walked in

Well the bar got deathly quiet
As those cowboys come our way
And the city folks knew it wouldn't be long
'Til the battle got under way

Well Ronnie he came right over to me
And he looked me right square in the eye
And said, "Hey there boy, what's that stuff you're smokin'?"
I said, "Here man, give it a try"

Well that didn't make him too happy
And then when I told him to bug out
He blinked and snorted like a mad brahamer bull
Frolicked and foamed at the mouth

Well just about then, I looked at old John
And his face had turned beet red
'Cause Leonard had grabbed him by the throat
With plans to tear off his head

Ronnie reached out with a huge left hand
And grabbed a hold of my hair
With a right fist cocked, he said:
"Now boy you better start sayin' your prayers!"

Well he gave a yank and my wig come off
And lay limp there across his hand
The most stupified look I've never seen
On the face of any man

Well he dropped the thing like a poisonous snake
And stared at it there on the floor
The he looked up and saw who I was
And laughed, and gave out a roar

Well this story doesn't have any moral
It was just one mighty good gag
But I sighed with relief Ronnie didn't swing first
Before he pulled off my wig