Sofa King

Please, read from sheets
I am...

I am...

Sofa, King...
Sofa King

Scared of a bunch of water, then get out the rain
Order a rapper for lunch and spit out the chain
Then kick a lungee of the tip of his Timbo
And trick a honey dip into a game of of strip limbo
Odd - he couldn't find no remorse
A wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse
Of course his technique was from a divine source
Never new the price of ice, or what swine cost
One guy tried to bite the heat
That's when he discovered the other other white meat
Ohhhh! The one they hate so well
He sure keeps it pyscho like the old Bates Motel
They came to ask him for at least some new tracks
But only got confronted by the beast with two backs
Knock - Mouse is a made man
Villain laid it down like the best laid plan
Belle the Cat, who the hell is that near the middle
Got y'all but it's not all beer and Skittles
Prepare the vittles, got riddles and spittles
Crystal clear to the jock, or the tittle
Sssst! It's hot off the griddle
Came to take the cake whether it's a lot, or a little
Kaboom; Doom is nervous large
You could tell by his blooming room service charge
... Dark and tall to boot
The only thing was wrong was he was bald as a klute
Used to rent a van from Peter Pan, the red and tan
And keep the human foot for his dead man's hand
This was when the mask was brand spankin new
Before it got rusted, from drankin all the brew
Stankin too, pew
Kept all his earnings in the bank and his shoe
Spat what he knew, energy for true
To all fake rappers, twenty-three skidoo
Excuse you, any room in the class front?
For a blast of the blunt, shroomin since last month
Doom a human in the Mask, born to stunt
Danger zoomin past mad fast on the hunt
Keep your streets, we got the city neatly conquered
Discretely with the CD 'til they be completely bonkered
The fans demanded it, handled it, swallow it
His own brand of {shit}, if only he could bottle it
Hmm... nah she could get messy
The feds tried to tortuee him for the secret recipe
He said it's no use, I only know half
No speaka de english, I only do the math
... BZZT! Felt no pain
His brain was saturated with cocaine and Rogaine
He said - try scan, no thing, three-card dead
Fly man go for bling, he got bled
I jam over sting, see spots red
I am "Sofa King, We Todd Ed"

We, Todd, Ed
Now repeat all, very fast please
I am, Sofa King
Faster
I am Sofa King We Todd Ed
No no, not so fast, loses meaning
I am so {fucking} retarded
Hohohohohoho, you say, funny thing!