A Really Lousy Day in the Universe

Hey, mister!
Hey, you!
What are you looking so sad for?

Nothing, really nothing,
absolutely nothing
How about some money?

I can't refuse
I need new shoes
And some pants
I need romance
What about you?

Tonight, after eight long hours he appeared
It was worse than the doctor had feared
And then the doctor said
"I hoped by now he'd be awake;
At least I thought he'd be awake.
My mistake!"
Then I prodded him and poked him
And his mother started crying
And then Rhoda started yelling at the nurse
It was a really lousy day in the universe

You love him
Too bad
What are you looking surprised for?

We hoped things would turn out better

Things don't get better
They only seem to
Then they don't
Don't be surprised
When life turns out to be
A trashy old catastrophe and...
Oh, hey, mister!
It's all right
Life is a rotten occasion

Let me give you money

Please forget the money
Please do not insult me
I'm not amused

But it's therapy

I give therapy for free
I'm just glad to have a client finally

So I called his name and hugged him
But the jerk is in a coma
And his mother hopes he dies if he gets worse
It was a really lousy day in the universe

They all are
They all are