Ladies in Drag (Foreword by Fred Schneider)

Here's to the ladies in drag, everybody clap.
Covered in makeup to hide all our sags; spilling cocktails in our laps.
Off to a show or to a party; complaining we're fat.
And looking low, while sipping Bacardi; adjusting our hat...
Cause let's face it, does anyone but a drag queen still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.
And here's to the girls who play smart, aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in performance art, knowing it won't pass.
Another long, exhausting night, the drag scene can be risky.
You lose a heel, get in a fight; thank God for cheap well (?) whiskey.
I'll drink to that.
And one for RuPaul...
And here's to the girls who wear crowns; aren't we too much (ha, ha, ha)...
Running around in our high heels and gowns, thinking we're too much.
The ones who follow the rules; and use the appropriate tools, too gorgeous to care if we're fools...
Aren't they a gem? I'll drink to them!
Yes, I'll drink to them!
And here's to the girls who just watch, aren't they the best?
When they get depressed it's a bottle of scotch, plus a little jest (?).
Another chance to disapprove, another brilliant singer...
Another reason not to move, another vodka stinger...
I'lllllllllll drink to that!
And here's to the girls on the show, everybody tries.
Look into our eyes and you'll see what we know, everybody dies!
A toast to the invincible crew (?)! the divas in size 15 shoes, let's hear it for the girls with up-dos...

Everybody rise! Rise! Riiiiseeeee!