Woe Is Me

I'd just like to take one moment to thank my two fathers
Who've been so supportive of me in all of my endeavors
Thanks, dads!
We hate losers (No one likes a loser!)
Which is why
We discipline
God hates losers (But he loves you)
Because losers do not know how to win
But we have faith in you honey
Yes we do (Yes we do!) Go get 'em
I hope you can love me, America
I'm gunning for first prize
Here's why you should love me, America
My needs I cannot overemphasize
I make myself crazy
Being what my dads hope I'll be
But what about me dads, what about me?
Jesus Christ!
What about me? (Practice your breathing Logainne)
Though I practice yoga, I don't breathe
I try not to disappoint, but still I
Disappoint the dads who my friends mock
Kids are mean, kids'll talk
All my so-called friends roll their eyes, they're incredibly petty
Because my dads are my dads, and oh right, enough already
Woe is me
Woe is me
Which is why I gotta win this spelling bee
Take a picture for her B.M. (Dad!)
Don't call her B.M., Carl!
Sorry, her birth mother (Peggy Jenkins!)
Who'd be very proud if she could see you spell!
My birth mother lives in Kansas, MO
In a trailer, in a park (tornadoes)
Every now and then she sends a card
Life, and then, she writes are hard
She would like to meet me when I'm grown and I've birthed like a comet
But I'm so stressed by my stress, I just wanna up and vomit
Woe is me
Woe is me
Which is why I gotta win this spelling
Be smart, be cool, be an adult, be remarkably adroit
In social situations
Woe is me (Be smart, be cool, be smart, be cool)
Woe is me (Be smart, be cool, be smart, be cool)
Which is why I gotta win this (Which is why she's gotta win this)
Spelling (Spelling)
Bee!