Sleep

If I'd have known that from the minute I was born
That the price of my existence would be the weight of expectation
Then I wouldn't fucking be here
How can I focus on the life I'm supposed to lead when every day I struggle with existing?

I've dug a hole so deep in my mind that I can no longer see the light of the sun
I can no longer hear the voices of people I love

I've been breaking my hands
Trying to carry the burden that I've placed on myself
I'm so afraid of the end
I've lead myself to believe that I may never be happy again

I think the hardest part of all is trying to justify my habitual self-deprecation
When I am constantly surrounded by sources of love and affection
I know that I'm not on my own
But I can't shake the feeling that I'm in this alone; there's no one that I feel safe with

All I've wanted for so long is to succumb to a sleep that I am not afraid of

Give me the strength to love myself, as I am told that I am loved
May I believe, despite my doubt, that someday I'll be good enough?
Give me the strength to love myself, as I am told that I am loved
May I believe, despite my doubt, that someday I'll be good enough?

Hindsight is a miserable thing
When you don't know where you're going and you don't care where you've been
Hindsight is a miserable thing
When you don't know where you're going and you don't care where you've been