Beach City

I get so caught up in all the silence, and I'm so disoriented by the noise
I forget about the people who love me, you've gotta nurture things before they die
And I'm not the best example of healthy, need a box of wine to bring down my heart rate
To a point where not everything makes me nervous
It's a panic attack, dude, let's get somewhere safe

And I just want everyone I love to send me letters everyday
So maybe, one day, I can rid myself of this hate
I scream so many words, looking for answers
But they're my own, so it's a fruitless effort
Cause the answers, well, they're in the words of others

And I feel like a ukulele that's rarely used
Just a decoration on the wall
Only taken down once so a dude could play John Mayer songs

I wish I had to motivation to help you
Analyse you like I analyse myself
But that's not realistic with all my weakness
Diary entries can only seem so clear
And I'm a welcome mat that hates being stepped on
I'm not obligated to respond to you
The people that I love, well, they never talk to me
But the ones I only tolerate always do

And I just want everyone I love to send me letters everyday
So maybe, one day, I can rid myself of this hate
That amounts to a person that's too heavy to be lighthearted
I know one day I'll be regarded as a conscientious, gentle, empathetic failure