Disconnect

Suffocate me
Then render each limb
More useless than the last
It's the only way
I'll ever find happiness

This loneliness won't kill me
But these walls are closing in
And I feel more and more
Like I've got nowhere to go

When I closed my eyes
I saw the terrors in my heart become personified
And when I wake up
I see them resonate in myself
And I'm terrified

My calloused hands
Are hanging on to the same dreams
The same sunken hopes

I let myself decay
When all the world was at my feet
Now my bones just burden me
And I am losing faith

I let myself decay
(I find myself at the bottom)
Now my bones just burden me

Why can't I ever be happy?
Why can't I ever be at peace?
Why does my world revolve around
The thing that's killing me?

I'm not okay

Suffocate me
Body immobilized
I know when
I hold my head up
I get knocked down
And dragged in

Down in the dirt
I fucking realized
That my eyes won't adjust
To the absence of life

This loneliness won't kill me
But these walls are closing in
And I feel more and more
Like I've got nowhere to go
And I'm trapped inside this disconnect
Alone and hollow within
Like I've got nowhere to go

Sometimes I wish my heart would stop
But I know that wouldn't be enough

I'll take my place
Among the low lives