Merry F**king Christmas

I heard there is no Christmas in the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus, they have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad and not in our holiday
And so every December, I go to the Middle East and say

Hey there, Mr Muslim, Merry Fuckin' Christmas
Put down that book, the Koran and here's some holiday wishes
In case you haven't noticed, it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass and fuckin' celebrate

There is no holiday season in India, I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings and that is just absurd
They never read a Christmas story
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why every December I'll go to India and shout

Hey there, Mr Hinduist, merry fuckin' Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef, and pass it to the missus
In case you haven't noticed, it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass and fuckin' celebrate

Now I've heard that in Japan, everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods and put needles in their skin
On December 25th, all they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan and walk around and say

Hey there, Mr Shintoist, merry fuckin' Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum
In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do
So let's all rejoice for Jesus, merry fuckin' Christmas, to you

On Christmas day, I travel around the world and say
Daoists, Christians, Buddists and all you Atheists, too
Merry fuckin' Christmas to you

Thank you, Mr. Hat