Dungeon Master's Lament (DND Parody)

My little brother wants to play
But he wants to be a half-orc paladin
I told him it don't work that way
But my mother say we have to let him
He's gonna totally trash my carefully crafted
Steam-punk anime campaign!

The mayor smiles and strokes his beard
Says "I think I have a job that you might fit"
My little brother gives a sneer,
Says "I draw my sword and I roll to hit"
Now I've totally got twelve pages of plot
I have to tear out and throw away

I'm surrounded by cretins, bloodthirsty cretins,
They're always gettin' in the way
Of the carefully balanced narrative talents
I prepared for days and days

My little brother says OK
He will switch to an elf barbarian
If he can have a dragon steed,
Claws like Wolverine, and a bacon golem
Now the others all say that they'll only play here
If my brother runs the game!

I'm surrounded by cretins, bloodthirsty cretins
They're always gettin' in the way
Of the carefully balanced narrative talents
I prepared for days and days

They're just hackin and slashin', blastin' and bashin',
With no subtlety or shame
I'm surrounded by cretins, bloodthirsty cretins,
Gosh I hope they let me play