The Mouse Song

I had already changed my pants
But not my pockets
I did my exit dance
Down the stairs
Like one of them rockets
I made it to the station
Alas, to no avail
To reach my destination
On time
Was bound to fail
So homeward, wallet-ward, I returned
And stopping by the door
I looked in through the window
Sweetie smiled at me once more

Now the mice are in the bedroom
Sweetie, why did you go away?
Why did you go away?

"I put your pants in the hamper"
Sweetie said
"Ya big lunk
And when it hit the bottom
Your wallet said, 'Clunk'
Your keys commenced in laughing
All at once
'Key key key'
And I told myself I would see you
In a minute or three
Besides you didn't kiss me
You know I wasn't asleep
And you oughta take your scarf
They says there's plenty of wind
Ha-ha-ha
You already know
It's good you come back again"

Now the mice are in the bedroom
Sweetie, why did you go away?
Why did you go away?

That night, Sweetie told me
She was moving to St. Louie
My tongue went dumb
And my mind went ka-blooey
She'd got a nursing job online
A hospital near the Arch
I had no idea
She was even on a job hunt search
She gave no clue
She had to move
She gave no hint of leaving
Oh, the Internet is Antichrist
As I had been believing

Now the mice are in the bedroom
Sweetie, why did you go away?
Why did you go away?

Sweetie, why?
Sweetie, why? Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?
Why, Sweetie? Why, Sweetie?

I went up North to be consoled
By my mama's home cookin'
I was not seeing anyone
I was not even lookin'
She gave oatmeal to take home
At least I'd have hot breakfast
She said, "Take care, do not despair
And please do nothing reckless"
On Wednesday, I unpacked my bags
The oats had all been eaten
There was mouse poop down the duffel seams
I felt severely beaten

Now the mice are in the bedroom
Sweetie, why did you go away?
Why did you go away?
Now the mice are in the bedroom
Sweetie, why did you go-o-o-o
Oh, I'll get you, mice!